‘Lost’ an acquired taste: So much hogwash can be hard to swallow (2024)

Writing TV reviews is not brain surgery, but writing a review about tonight’s “Lost” season debut does require a certain delicacy. Because if I slip up, someone could get hurt. And by someone, I mean me.

So keep your weapons to yourselves because I am going to keep this as spoiler-free as I possibly can while still using words as opposed to, say, smoke signals. Or shadow puppets.

But before we get into everything I can’t tell you about season five, let’s take a look at where season four left off.

At the end of last season, scary, bug-eyed Ben Linus turned a wheel that moved the island, taking Sawyer, Juliet, John Locke and other stranded folks along for the ride.

In the meantime, we saw how the Oceanic 6 – Jack, Sun, Hurley, Kate, Sayid and baby Aaron – got off Charles Widmore’s ship before it exploded, probably sending Jin and Michael to their deaths. We also saw flash-forward Jack open the lid to the mystery coffin and discover that the “Jeremy Bentham” everyone had been talking about was actually John Locke. Or someone who looked exactly like him.

And somewhere in there, Desmond reunited with Penny Widmore; flash-forward Sayid broke Hurley out of the mental institution; Claire and Jack turned out to have the same father; and Ben told Jack that everyone who escaped from the island has to go back, or everyone who is still there will die.

As for the two-hour, two-episode premiere, about all I feel safe telling you is that it begins with a clock radio going off at 8:15 a.m and it ends with somebody saying something significant in what appears to be church.

And what about all the brain-twisting, thought-provoking, mind-game craziness that happens in between? I think it’s best if I let Jack Shepherd sum it up. That way, you can be mad at him.

“How did we get here?” Jack wonders at one point. “How did this all happen?”

There you have it. The “Lost” season premiere in a nutshell. In these action-jammed, character-packed, plot-intensive two hours, team “Lost” answers a few questions about what happened to the members of the Oceanic 6 after they escaped from the island, and what is happening (or has happened) to the fellow plane-crash survivors they left behind.

But for every info nugget these first two installments provide, they pile on three or four new mysteries that promise to nag at us for episodes to come. And if you thought last season’s time-shifting tricks were freaky, wait until you see what “Lost” does with clocks and calendars this year.

I will say that before your “Lost” loyalty reflex kicks in, there are moments when you will wonder how you could possibly love a show that expects you to swallow so much hogwash. Moving islands? Smoke monsters? The “Others”? What are those “Lost” guys drinking, and how did they convince us to drink it, too?

But in a flash, you will remember. You will watch these richly drawn, lovingly acted characters fight for their lives and their loved ones, and you will remember that for all the time-jumping and sci-fi silliness, “Lost” has always been about connections and the risks people are willing to take to hang on.

As always, the cast is fully committed to every wacky moment, with all of your favorites appearing to be at the top of their games already. And the guest list is still a Who’s Who of character actors. They make us believe because they believe, too.

There is an awful lot going on in these first two hours, and if I didn’t trust Damon Lindelof, Carlton Cuse and the rest of the “Lost” creative community so completely, I would worry that this flurry of brain-teasing activity could be the sign of shark-jumping to come.

But one of the most important “Lost” connections has always been the one between the viewers and the show. And everything in tonight’s episode is done with such respect for the series and its fans, I’m willing to hang on no matter how wild the ride gets.

And I don’t think I’m spoiling anything when I say I bet you will be, too.